Huh?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (dang and I thought I could save time that way)

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (five finger discount?)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and how is that?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (just a suggestion?)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (oops too late)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:" Product will be hot after heating." (what does heat mean again?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (dang it another chance to save time ruined)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and I'm taking this why?)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (what else is there?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (mmm okay lost me on this one)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (really?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (never would've thought)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (taa-daa)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (and how many times did this happen before they put the warning on it?)


	Mystic's Place \| home Friends Pics \| Pet Pics \| Family Pics \| Poems & Quotes \| Fave Song Lyrics \| Bumper Stickers \| Life... \| George Carlin Humor \| Favorite Links \| Monster Jam World Finals, Las Vegas 2003 \| Contact Me \| America the Beautiful \| 411 \| Huh? Huh? Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (dang and I thought I could save time that way) On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (five finger discount?) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and how is that?) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (just a suggestion?) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (oops too late) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:" Product will be hot after heating." (what does heat mean again?) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (dang it another chance to save time ruined) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and I'm taking this why?) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (what else is there?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (mmm okay lost me on this one) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (really?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (never would've thought) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (taa-daa) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (and how many times did this happen before they put the warning on it?) *Origins Unkwown (so dont ask)*